ATTENTION SMOKERS:

I HATE YOU!! Ok, so I don't hate the smoker as a person, I hate the addiction. Today ranks right up there with one of the worst days of my life, which include the death of my granddaddy & grandparents, my beloved family pets who have made their way to heaven, and among other things. Today my dad was diagnosed with Advanced Emphysema and is being hospitalized because he also has Pneumonia. This is his death sentence. When he dies, he will die of Emphysema, not old age. This is sad because he did it to himself as are all of you out there that are smokers. This is not fair to you or your family. I cannot express to you the hurt and anger I am feeling right now. My dad has smoked for as long as I remember. I remember as a young child....5 or 6....stealing his cigarettes, hiding and breaking them all in half and then throwing them in the trash. I have taught my daughter to ask him to stop smoking and she does in her own way...even in public. (So watch out if you are a smoker and around us...she will let the whole world know you are "doing drugs".) Your life is way more important than the cigarettes you smoke and the STUPID reasons you give for smoking!!! My dad will be 66 this year and has a 2 yr old granddaughter that completely looks up to him and idolizes him just as I did my granddaddy. She LOVES her PaPa and the time she gets to spend with him and I hate that he now is living with this death sentence but I hope he will realize he has much more to live for than the expensive crap he chooses to ingest in his body on a daily basis. I don't want to have to explain to my child that her PaPa chose to kill himself by continuing to smoke. I hope that he has chosen that he has already smoked and enjoyed his last cigarette. I would appreciate if you would keep him in your prayers as he pulls through this.  I know people do live with Emphysema and I hope that he will realize that he has much more to live for than the feeling he gets from smoking a pack a day.

I've been a stickler for smoking but if you thought I was bad before...you better get ready...I'm really going to be bad now. It's because I LOVE YOU!!! I will work harder on teaching my child to announce in public when someone in our family & circle of friends are "doing drugs" and let her know they are bad and get her to help me ask you to stop. If you are a smoker....YOU ARE SELFISH!! In the end you aren't just hurting yourself, you are hurting your loved ones and it's not fair!

Daddy - I love you and I hate that you are going through this and I want you to know we are by your side but I also hope that this has been a wake-up call and you won't let this get you down but you will put down the cigarettes and realize you are worth it and have much more to live for than whatever it is you are getting from that package. Isabella is just getting started in learning new things, she LOVES spending time with you, she still needs to learn to fish, garden, play basketball, ride a bike among other things and she needs you there for those things. You didn't do it for me, PLEASE do it for her, future grandkids and yourself!! We all love you and hope you get to feeling better real soon.....P.S. Our garden will need your green thumb in a few weeks! LOVE YOU!

Besides that news, I also got a wake-up call today.  I have been working my butt off to lose weight and actually have but since Alan is starting his own business we had to apply for health insurance through the Texas Bar.  I was denied coverage because of my height to weight ratio.  I have NEVER been uninsured and have definately been heavier than I am now.  This really jolted me and has also had me extremely upset since I have been trying to see progress and now I feel like it's being stressed and pushed further back, if that makes any sense.  This is definitely trying since I am ready in the near future to start trying for another baby and well unlike my husband...we have insurance for a reason and when I am sick I do go to the dr.  Alan promises that we will figure it out and I will be covered but it's just the stress of getting to that point.

I did end the evening on a good note and that was my sweet baby waking up from her nap in a wonderful mood and us going out to play as promised.  We played a game of hoopy hoop (a.k.a. Basketball), imaginary hopscotch, and then swang and slid on her BIG playground.  I love that kiddo and she is such a little blessing!!